A man of my word...

I used to pride myself on being a man of my word. Well, i think i am not really one at all. Just self reflecting over various life events, and it seems i give up on some commitments, or flake out when people think i am going to do something. Most times it is not really that important (in my own mind) it really doesnt affect anyone that greatly. But it just kinda builds up. I think it boils down to being selfish in alot of different aspects. I mean i hold to my responsibilities for work, and the things that "matter' but sometimes i compromise the others. I dont know what the hell is my deal. So if i have flaked on you, or told you i was going to do something and didnt follow through...Im sorry. Im sure God gets most of the flakage, and i see it now. I have seen it, just been a little to lazy to do anything. The detox is a perfect example. havent really kept to many of those commitments, cause it was hard. But no one ever got to high without a little hard work. I seek change, but lack the courage to work for it. i wanna be fit, but lack the desire to go to the gym and eat healthy. I wanna be a perfect christian, but sometimes lack the desire to seek him. Stupid.