Talking like a cool kid

I have never really liked the cool kids. I have pretended to, but never really liked it. I just liked to have fun. I never thought I was really better than anyone else, I just wanted to be friends. Life is simpler that way. The problem I had with that mentality is that I pretended to be better at first, talking like a "cool kid." I was a cool kid, i guess. I always liked to think that i was cool cause i had friends in all different areas, but I always wanted people to like me. Thats the problem, I act like I dont care, but I do.

So, what do I do? I change my speech to sound like those that I am around, to sound like I fit in. That is not how I want to be. I want to be passionate about the things that i am passionate about, not necessarily what you are passionate about. Thats ok. Making myself feel bigger because I do a certain thing better, or dress a certain way, have a certain look, is absolutely wrong. I did it with BAMF, i did it in high school, I do it at work, i do it in my head. WOW. So I am sorry if I rambled and that this doesnt make too much sense, but I want to impress you with my genuine personality, not by thinking that I/We are better than that guy over there, cause thats not cool.