MOMENT IN THE MIND

My Forensic Psychology dedication...

2012-01-22T09:51:00.000-08:00

Wow, I havent blogged for about 2.5 years. A lot has changed. Especially my involvement with a new MA in Forensic Psychology. It is interesting, that the very thing I am studying led to the demise of my Great Grandfather Gilbert, who was in essence a great man. A man that I aspire to be like. High ranking to one of the biggest Law enforcement agencies on the planet. He fell prone to the lie that drinking offers a relevant escape, when it doesn't. I am sitting here wondering, when I should be writing...if my grandfather is my subconscious inspiration for this interest? I never knew him, I never met him, and I know little about him. But he was a white, male cop. Hard working, and drank too much sometimes. Thats about all i know. I wonder if he drank to get away from the horror of society that he fought to protect the innocent against? I wonder if he used it as an escape from the fear that he couldn't control every situation? I wonder. Realizing this makes me really happy I am where I am. He sounds a lot like me, I think if I were to meet him, I would instantly like him. I hope I meet him someday. I hope to use his legacy as a new found inspiration in my study of law enforcement psychology.

This ones for you (Great) Grandpa.

Scuba Diving: An Analogy

2009-07-18T16:42:00.000-07:00

I realized something while Scuba diving in Catalina, we take things for granted more on land than underwater. On land, we worry and stress about anything and everything and take for granted the little things in life. Like breathing for instance...Underwater you are conscious of every inhale and every exhale. You try to look all around and take every inch of your surroundings in. Your only concern is for where your next breath comes from and the safety of your partners. Your partners concerns are your concerns, and vice versa. You always carry an extra hose, just in case they need to breathe your air in an emergency situation. I just wish that we(I) cared so much for things such as this when i was living the day to day on land. Take a step back and truly cherish that you have breath to breathe and partners who care for you and would breathe for you if you couldn't do it yourself. Just a thought.

Nickname

2009-06-23T16:04:00.000-07:00

So my supervisor gives all of us nicknames. It took awhile to get mine. I finally got one this week. "Templar." It refers to the knights templar. I guess they were crazy fighting group during the crusades. Cant say that the crusades were 100% justified but this quote makes it all the more perfect, especially for my career.

"A Templar Knight truly a fearless knight, and secure on every side, for his soul is protected by the armour of faith, just as his body is protected by the armour of steel. He is thus doubly-armed, and need fear neither demons nor men."

Bernard de Clairvaux

Bland

2009-05-29T00:09:00.000-07:00

I feel bland. My life has no flavor because i do not put the right ingredients into it. Life is what you make it, especially when it comes to spirituality. If you put bad ingredients in it tastes bad, but when you put good ingredients in it tastes good (you reap what you sow, sounding familiar?) An example is today, i made a pretty good dinner if i do say so myself, i took the time to marinate ribs, oven cook them, and grill them. I also made Fried pickles (delicious) and corn. I took my time, i planned it out, and it was well worth it. The problem is that I have been lacking that motivation spiritually for a long while. I have always been very involved in my church, and "know" the Christian answer. I expect it. I can rattle off my core beliefs, and make it sound good, but it has no flavor. its like the best lettuce in the world...no matter how good it is its just lettuce, it has no substance on its own. The problem lies with gumption shrewd or spirited resourcefulness). I need it. I know the potential is there, just need to "light the fire again" (Thank you All Together Separate.) Well i guess these are and have been my thoughts for a while.

God did speak to me for the first time in a while, through meditating on the story of Sampson and Delilah. Maybe i will post a blog on those thoughts soon.

SHOULD I...

2009-04-11T03:33:00.000-07:00

...delete this blog?

I guess that I used to be a lot more introspective. I mean I still get inspired to write, but then I get lazy. Then when i do write, I expect everyone to comment on what they think, positive or negative. But then I just realized that I am not the only one who is busy. Everyone can't just go out of their way to check and comment, especially when i update like once every two months. I guess while I cant sleep I will provide an update...

I started my new job, and I like it a lot. I didn't know if I would at first but I do. Its a little intimidating, but I will have to get used to it. Karrina and I are moving out of our apt. and moving in with the in laws. Well...im not stoked on it, but we need a place to stay while we look for a house.

With that topic i will run with that idea. I guess I have learned (especially last night) that I am putting my hope in my job and looking for a house rather than putting my hope in Christ. I don't mean hope that He will provide those things, but rather the hope that he us my King, and that my life it to be focused on Him, and everything else in my blurry peripheral. Its opposite and has been opposite for a while.

As I write I realize that this is cathartic, and I should do it more often. Not for anyone else but simply to just let things out.

Back on topic...Karrina and I just celebrated our first anniversary together. It was pretty weird. Time flies. We went to PF CHANGS and got the dinner for 2 meal. Very good, i suggest it. We had a quiet night. I like sending quality time with Karrina, and dont take advantage of it as much as I should. We had to cut things out of our schedule to make this work.

Well maybe i will write more scatterbrained stuff later, forgive me it is 3:40am.

Putting God in the bathroom

2009-03-10T18:38:00.000-07:00

I was pondering the other day about the way that we treat God. When we invite people over to our house we make sure everything is clean and in order. If they are staying for an extended period of time when we make sure that they have a clean room to stay in, with fresh sheets and linens, something comfortable. The Problem is that we dont reciprocate the same courtesy to God. When we invite Him into our hearts some of us shove him into our dirty bathroom. We have all of our junk sitting around and sometimes we dont bother to pick it up. We check up on him ever so often. We dont give him privacy as let people barge in to use the bathroom. Our hearts are dirty, and sometimes we dont bother cleaning them to resemble a comfortable living space. Just a thought.

Trust

2008-12-15T17:28:00.000-08:00

It seems selfish to ask for prayer in regards to buying a house and the stress that entails when people I know are in a coma, and people nationwide are losing their homes and jobs. So that this is not a selfish post. All I would ask is for guidance, and that we would not get wrapped up in selfishness. That we would not get excited but to take everything in stride. Thanks. We love you all.

Pray

2008-12-13T20:18:00.000-08:00

For my friend Mark Lamberth. This man helped me on my journey to become a better christian. He called me to remind me to read my bible. He was a all around great guy. He was seriously injured in a motorcycle accident. He needs serious prayer. if you want to know the whole story please go to this Website to know the whole story. Life on this earth is meaningless without a relationship with Jesus.

First and last time...

2008-12-08T20:32:00.000-08:00

So I am bald now. Im pretty sure I did this for the heck of it, just to say i did.

Seasons

2008-12-07T22:39:00.000-08:00

Its a sad thing growing up. Things change, and life sets in. Sometimes it is hard to accept, but for the most part I think I am up for the challenge. The hardest part is to watch the separation of friendships. Friends that you have had for years, have different roles. But i hate it. I hate the fact that sometimes it feels that you are holding on to something that is not even there anymore. Trying to put in an effort, whether it be a quick phone call or text, is something that i think i try to do to keep a friendship alive. Maybe I am just being overly sensitive, but it hurts when it feels like it is not reciprocated. Like someone doesn't care like they used to. Everyone says that there are seasons in peoples lives, and thats just the way it is. But i think it is an excuse. Someone has to give up on it, perhaps pushing the other person to do the same. I guess. I just dont think it makes sense.

Life is good.

2008-11-26T18:39:00.000-08:00

Life is going good. Why do I ever complain? I dont know. I am selfish. I suck at shooting, not really but not up to my own standard. I decided to just be as random as possible, kinda like free-writing to spark a creative fire, so i am not really gonna stop typing. I Just got in a really good mood as I got home tonight. My Brother/Sister in law/nephews are coming down, Thanksgiving tomorrow, Crab legs tonight, No Academy tomorrow, and breath in my lungs. Also, on a good note I am over halfway done with the academy. This will also be my fist Thanksgiving off in 9 years. So Just wanted to update, since I haven't blogged in awhile.

On getting older...

2008-10-12T15:06:00.000-07:00

When i was younger, I couldn't wait to be 16, cause then I could drive. Then you know i wanted to be an "adult" so 18 was the next age that I looked forward to. Then 21, then 25, so whats next? I realized today that I have always wanted to grow up as fast as I can, instead of just enjoying where I was at in life.

Then I thought about another thing. Even though I have enjoyed some of the benefits of getting older, getting older sucks. Not just the normal increases in responsibility and work, but more so the changing relationships with friends, and the different social interactions that you must take part in. Don't get me wrong, i enjoy where my life is at now, and wouldnt change it, but it's the other things that i missed along the way. I didnt stop to smell the roses. I wish i could have always lived life for that moment, instead of always looking in the future for my contentment. Oh well. I have it good.

I miss...

2008-10-11T16:20:00.000-07:00

...Playing soccer. i miss trash talking and playing competitively. I need something fun to keep me in shape. I think I am gonna make that my new goal. Well that and finish the academy successfully.

What God has taught me through my knee

2008-10-09T21:06:00.000-07:00

I guess I needed a Blog, Even more I needed to be to be humbled quietly. Since the academy process a lot of people told me "how good of a cop Id be" or "That I will do SO good" and a bunch of other BS crap. To tell you the truth I tried to blow it off, but quietly I believed every word of it. I thought that I was in shape, smart, and keen enough to do well in the Academy. I was pretty complacent about the whole issue. I had a quiet overly confident attitude when it came to athletics and smarts. So the more I started to believe this the more I felt How "good I was." Then, my knee busted. Not doing some crazy technique, not fighting, not running, but instead by just getting up. Getting up from my knees and my left knee pops. Why? I was doing great just hanging in the back, keeping to myself.

My friend Tyler asks, "What is God teaching you through this?" Until that second I never gave it one thought, but yet i immediately replied "Humility." God was gracious enough to facilitate my Doctors appointments, and i am grateful for that. The real thing he has blessed me with is seeing that i am not even close to be good. I have to slack, i have to walk, I cant participate, I am weak. I think it is for the best. Forgetting that God has lead me through this whole process, holding my hand, and opening doors. I havent done anything on my own, except walk through the doors that HE has opened. Thanks For being awesome God.

Just to let you know

2008-09-30T20:40:00.000-07:00

I have been too busy to BLOG. Twitter is way easier to just get out a quick thought. Most have no meaning or significance, just what is going through my head at that exact moment. I do not have a hidden or secret blog so those people who think that can sleep at night (you know who you are). Im out, cause i got boots to shine and a stupid memo to write.

Intimidation

2008-08-27T18:21:00.000-07:00

So I went to the pre-academy meeting. All around I guess I had a pretty good vibe. The sergeant seems like a pretty straight forward guy. The intimidating part is that there are so many people in the academy. Some with military experience. Lets just hope that im not really a pansy. I guess I do better in smaller groups.

A god big enough to understand...

2008-08-21T21:58:00.000-07:00

...is not the God I worship.

Talking like a cool kid

2008-08-18T11:06:00.000-07:00

I have never really liked the cool kids. I have pretended to, but never really liked it. I just liked to have fun. I never thought I was really better than anyone else, I just wanted to be friends. Life is simpler that way. The problem I had with that mentality is that I pretended to be better at first, talking like a "cool kid." I was a cool kid, i guess. I always liked to think that i was cool cause i had friends in all different areas, but I always wanted people to like me. Thats the problem, I act like I dont care, but I do.

So, what do I do? I change my speech to sound like those that I am around, to sound like I fit in. That is not how I want to be. I want to be passionate about the things that i am passionate about, not necessarily what you are passionate about. Thats ok. Making myself feel bigger because I do a certain thing better, or dress a certain way, have a certain look, is absolutely wrong. I did it with BAMF, i did it in high school, I do it at work, i do it in my head. WOW. So I am sorry if I rambled and that this doesnt make too much sense, but I want to impress you with my genuine personality, not by thinking that I/We are better than that guy over there, cause thats not cool.

Michael Phelps AKA...The greatest olympian of all time.

2008-08-15T22:29:00.000-07:00

I dont really have to say much, but seriously this guy has H-E-A-R-T. Phelps has proved that he is the best, and seems to motivate as well. If anybody saw his 100M Butterfly race you saw the determination to win that he has. Amazing. Its funny I am not into watching sports, but there is something about the Olympics. This year it was Gymnastics and swimming. I guess i am cheesy, but i have high fived myself and been yelling at the tv in excitement many times during the last olympic days. Thank you TIVO and long days.

Well, least they can add...

2008-08-08T11:27:00.000-07:00

Ive never heard of a place that offers month to month membership for cheaper,

One Month Membership: $18.00
Three Month Memberships: $100.00
One Year Membership: $350.00

These are the prices of a certain type of gym. Just doesnt make sense. Well thats one blog in the bank.

OH...Thats what it stands for

2008-08-06T16:03:00.000-07:00

I guess somewhere along the way they swapped music for reality shows and "jams," I guess somewhere along the way the "M" was changed from Music to Moronic Television. Thats sad.

R.I.P MISSION SINN 6/4/2008 to 8/3008

2008-08-03T16:42:00.000-07:00

So I gave it hell. I put in my notice about a week ago, with every intention of fulfilling my requirement with honor and integrity. I still am doing that, but will no longer be working due to spraining my ankle, and messing up my knee.

I tell you what. As much as I liked to complain about my job, it was a good one. I met some good people, had some good times, and will leave with some good memories. Here are some of those memories.

The GEEB. I was introduced (by Zack)to the most ridiculous game, simply called "the game." You may know this as the "circle game." (Click HERE for the full explanation) At first glance i laughed and thought that these people were pathetic. As time went on, and the true Boredom of the MIR (Mission Inn Restaurant) started to take affect. So i decided to start playing. Countless shifts went by faster by playing this absurd waste of time, I even decided to Dub people "The Godfather" by how hard it was to get them. That will not soon be forgotten.

Also another thing I subconsciously loved was feuding with the Banquets department. On Sundays, they sometimes would steal all of our glassware. Water glasses, Champagne glasses, and juice glasses. So I loved to roam the Mission Sinn in search for our lost glasses. We always had a sense of glory running around the Hotel with our re-stolen glasses. We were caught sometimes, but rarely. We had full blown techniques, and plans. It was glorious.

I also had fun creating new words, like Douchie McDoucherton (for Danny) and many other names for my co-workers. Also, stealing nametags and making people embark on scavenger hunts for them, complete with threatening picture phone messages, where the nametag was shown being tortured and humiliated. Countless debates over evolution, politics, religion, etc...Smoke break no smokes (cause i don't smoke, but still take my smoke breaks). Needless to say there is a lot, A LOT of downtime and shenanigans working at the Mission Sinn.

I know it was just a job, but to me it was the end of am era. It is the end of part time jobs, beers after work, and not taking life seriously. Hopefully I can take some of these philosophies and friendships with me into my journey into adulthood.

The Legend of Jamming...

2008-08-02T23:16:00.000-07:00

If you know me, which if you are on this BLOG then you probably do...then you know that i really liked playing in a band. Not all its cracked up to be but whatever. Ever since we stopped playing (or screaming) a little piece of me was gone. It was resurrected one time when we recorded a little somethin somethin
with my friend Shaun Eagleson, shredder extraordinaire.

I have always tried to finagle jamming, i dont want a serious band, just something that i sing (scream) to. Well due to growing up, that has never been possible. But due to conversations of late there is a ray of hope that i will jam again. That would be awesome, i would have fun. Dont hold your breath...

Batman is Wild at Heart

2008-07-23T00:03:00.000-07:00

So I saw the Dark Knight in theatres last night, even though it cost me 20 bucks. It was overall worth it. The movie was great, and obviously had a talented cast. I really wish i was more knowledgeable on Batman, and into the whole backstory, But the truth is that I am not. I didn't think it was the best movie ever, but i did think it was a great movie...make sense? I hope so. Just basically saying that the movie was good, but Im not about to go see it more than once in theatres.

I was thinking today, about what made it a really god movie for me...The first thing that came into my mind was that Batman got hurt. He was knocked out, almost defeated, and someone (Commissioner Gordon)saved him. He became vulnerable. He was exposed with nothing to protect him, and a friend, not a superhero came to is rescue. But the truth is, that i think we cam all agree that Bruce Wayne/Batman is a MAN.

Coincidentally I am reading Wild at Heart by John Eldridge. A book about the true heart of a man. On pg 125 of my edition it says..."It is no shame that you need healing; It is no shame to look for another for strength; it is no shame to feel young and afraid inside." This sums it up. Men get scared, men cant always do it all alone, and sometimes they HAVE TO lean on others for support. I guess i liked that this was shown in the movie(We will save all the parallels with joker for another time.) It makes the fantasy more believable. It empowers us...we to have what it takes to be a hero. To give our ordinary lives, a little "extra". Men have a duty to confront the evils, and the blocks in our own lives, so we can help those around us. Accepting that we are vulnerable, helps us prepare the areas where we will be attacked.

This part of the movie was one of my favorites. And of course this quote is awesome..."ITS BETTER TO DIE A HERO, THAN TO LIVE LONG ENOUGH TO BECOME THE VILLAIN."

The Countdown is about to begin...

2008-07-18T23:44:00.000-07:00

I have an addiction...

2008-07-12T23:34:00.001-07:00

I do not know why i am inherently drawn to discount stores. Maybe it is because i am way to cheap to pay full price for brand name stuff. I can walk around for hours, up every aisle finding the best deals. To some this is a waste of time, but to me its a challenge. So if You have a sign that says "discount prices" or "name brands, closeout prices" I will probably be there eventually rifling through bundles of clothes, appliances, kitchen supplies, trying to find a "diamond in the rough." Except there are no diamonds, only crystal wine glasses for $14. A 2001 Almanac for 99c. And drill bits for $10. I find stuff i need, and LOTS of stuff i dont for C-H-E-A-P. IT definitely ups the white trash in me big time. I wonder where i get it?

A day in CATAN

2008-07-02T16:29:00.000-07:00

So there is this board game...Settlers of Catan and it is pretty nerdy. Actually the first time i played i quietly made fun of everyone who was playing it, about until half way through the game when I was bartering for sheep, wheat, ore, brick, and of course wood. I also joined the bandwagon quickly with incessant "wood" jokes (if you have played than you know what I am talking about).

So I decided to buy it, so that people would come over and play, and i could play whenever i wanted. Luckily for me Karrina (my wife) liked it to. So we are extra nerdy. I dont know how to explain it but it was the power to addict, and i already love games, but usually nobody likes to play. I shamefully admit a 3 hour game...but at least it involves high levels of interaction. Thats good. So yes if you arent too cool, than pick it up, or come over and we will trade, build setllements, cities, and roads, and have a fun time. It has just became cool to be a nerd.

Judge not, lest ye be judged...

2008-07-01T00:08:00.000-07:00

So I was engaged with a "typical" conversation with some of my Christian friends. Somehow the topic of judging came up. The Bible talks about not judging non-believers, BUT it does say that Christians are allowed to "judge" others in The Church. The bible also talks alot about love...Correct? If you judge/rebuke/jack/tell off/(insert your favorite word for judging here) and don't do it out of genuine love or concern for the moral well being of the person, I THINK it might be just as useless as judging a non-christian. Its funny, because reading all these books, and the bible it talks a lot about community. In the Problem of Pain, by CS Lewis he describes heaven as the ultimate community, where all of your energy is exerted fulfilling others needs, meaning that all of your needs are met solely by others. And Hell is the opposite. In living in community, communication is key. Communicating your concern for others actions should feel like love, not pain. Obviously hearing the truth is not always easy, but over time hopefully we can realize that it was born in love, as an attempt to help you.

Sometimes we realize that it is the need to be righter than the other, or to "know more" than the other that drives us into judgement. I am guilty of this, and also been a victim. It sucks both ways. As Christians we truly need to take a look at if we truly care about being right, or care about our friends life enough to actually want them to change. The latter is what we as Christians hopefully strive for. That is community. A community based on LOVE, change, and forward progression...always seeking to be closer to perfection.

PS. I think i have Blogged about this before, but i guess i needed to be reminded...Fun blogs soon to come about CAYMAN.

I do this all the time...

2008-06-15T23:49:00.000-07:00

"The great thing is to direct the malice to his immediate neighbors to whom he sees everyday, and to thrust his benevolence out to the remote circumferance, to people he does not know." -CS Lewis (Screwtape Letters)

This is something that most of us do all the time. We have a broad sense of loving those we will never meet, helping those we may never see. But to those we know, who are close to us, who may actually have a chance to see the love of Christ in us, we show them hatred. We treat them worse than most other people. I just thought it made sense. Thats all.

Update

2008-06-10T10:48:00.000-07:00

So there is really no update. I felt i needed a blog, that nobody will read. So here goes. i was reading today, found a verse that i have read before but never truly gave thought to. ("I tell you the truth, until heaven and earth disappear not even the smallest detail of Gods law will disappear until its purpose is achieved" Matthew 5:18) I thought that is pretty cool. I always wondered about the old school laws that dont seem relevant today, but maybe it is because they have already achieved the purpose that they were created for. Makes sense. Hmmm interesting.

Life Update. Still waiting for the Sheriffs to finish my background check, so i will know in like 2 months if i get in. PATIENCE IS A VIRTUE. Besides that i get to go diving in Grand Cayman, with my newly gained family. I have heard that should be an interesting extravaganza. So wish me luck with that.

We recently signed up for ATT Uverse. Basically cable TV. Something i have never ever ever had, but always wanted. So now i have those certain shows that "I watch." Dexter, Hero's, and the office just to name a few. There is a good and bad thing. I have Dexter season one and two at my instant disposal, thanks to the Uverse "on demand" but when i catch up, i will have to wait until next week like everyone else. This is the same for all the other shows...To sum it all up...Im a loser. No not true, but i might be a geek. Oh well thats my BLOG to spring me back into blogging.

Sorry

2008-06-04T16:49:00.000-07:00

No Blog in a while. I havent been feeling creative lately. Hopefully some soon.

...but we are accountable when our actions and attitudes-misrepresenting a holy, just, and loving God...

2008-05-12T10:54:00.000-07:00

So today, I sub. I get bored, so I read. For BBC we read a interesting book entitled UNchristian. Basically a research book with a little bit of commentary. Pretty straight forward, thought provoking, and humbling. I decided to read it again, since i read it awhile ago, and spaced out the chapters. I feel as if I missed a lot of key points, in the application to my life.

The title of this post is a quote, and the topic of discussion. WHAT DO YOU THINK IT MEANS?

I believe that this quote is the way that we as Christians behave. This is especially true for me. A lot of focus and energy is exerted to preserve the first two adjectives describing God. "Holy" and "Just" are built up, and attributed to God, and rightly so. Christians love to embrace these two adjectives in regards to sins, but simply neglect the delivery of love. A God who is ONLY holy and just, is a God that i am afraid of, not one that I fear and respect. People often forget that GOD IS LOVE. Love is the Glue that holds everything together. Aren't we called to love? To love our enemies? It is possible to be holy and just, and not loving. This is not the way that God is, nor is it the way that I believe Christians should act. The problem is, that is how Christians act (myself included). We get are "holier than thou" personalities going, and expect everyone to adhere to our moral standards of holiness and justice. This is good, but the package of holiness and justice needs top be packaged with love. A loving message is a better recieved message.

"G"mail (Gangster mail)

2008-05-08T12:10:00.000-07:00

So Some friends urged me to set up a Gmail calender. I already use gmail for email purposes, which works out great. But the sharing of calenders is extraordinary. I will post more later.

Joy

2008-05-05T00:17:00.000-07:00

Too much time is wasted being serious. What happened to the joy of the Lord? Tonights worship was awesome. Not because the music was the perfect volume, or the singers sounded great. Not because anything anyone of the worship eam said words that cut to my heart. The only reason it was awesome is because God let me see past all that...He made me focus on the Joy of knowing how powerful He is and just saturating myself in that. Thats it. God is good. When? All the time.

BBC and girls

2008-05-01T12:59:00.000-07:00

So I have brought up the idea of the inclusion of women into the BBC. It wasnt as easy as I thought. Many good arguments were made for both Pro and Con. The resolution...that a Girls BBC may be started on the beginning of next book. Meeting at the same place, same book, but different group. I agree it should be a natural process of full inclusion, and not just a drastic joining one week and not the next.

My ideas and dreams still stand. One thing I think it to the detriment of church groups, especially high school and college, is the separation of men and women all the time. I believe some is necessary. I feel as if "real conversations" should be had between men AND women. We used to joke about "code Red" and "the M" and girls never understood that we were talking about masturbation, and young mens battle with lust. It became kind of a inside joke between all of the guys in the college group. But what if guys were real with girls about their struggles, and vice versa. Would it encourage jokes, or encourage growth. I can honestly say that sometimes i felt as if our "support group" of guys failed. It failed because we all came expecting to be asked about our lust, we went around a circle and sometimes all the guys were in the same boat (or outside of the same boat) we were all drowning. Sometimes we would challenge ourselves and it worked. So i do not wanna criticize the whole process...

BUT...what if we were real with the girls. We had to see the hurt, and utter disgust that women feel for this particular sin (This sin is an example, i encourage realness with everything on both parts). They could offer remedies that men could never really think of. And the women can learn to maybe understand the shame, guilt, and helplessness that men feel. My point is that men can learn from women, and women can learn from men. They can discuss things, and come to common ideals. They can disagree and move on. The separation does not allow this.

But in the defense of our decision, this will NOT come over night. It MUST be natural. So i believe the "Separate but Equal" decision is the best for the BBC...for now. So any ladies want to join a girls version of the BBC please let Holly know. We are still working out how exactly it will work. Basically it is a place where women can discuss books, concepts, and life, possibly over a drink.

Lars and the Real Girl

2008-04-28T13:43:00.000-07:00

Many movies are truly pure in nature. This movie danced on the the line but never ever crossed any line making the movie or any part of it inappropriate. It talked about a "sex doll" and about the "female anatomy" but never in a way to exploit or make woman (or men) feel uncomfortable. It took a subject that usually elicits only sympathy, and made it more real. Compassion emerged and made the film very moving.

I get into movies, especially movies that i like. You can empathize with the characters and go on a journey with each one of them. You begin to understand their own personal journeys, not just the main character. Religion is not made fun of, but instead it is explored subtlety.

I am not a movie buff, or scholarly critic...but i do enjoy a good movie. Although I do still watch movies with pervasive themes, it is still good to watch a movie that entertains and challenges without using whacked out themes and images to boost audiences appeal. Rent this movie.

Life

2008-04-24T10:58:00.000-07:00

Life, besides the Mission Sin is going well. I am spoiled everyday by my lovely wife. I am selfish, but I am working on it. Overall life is going well. Stay tuned.

Stephen ColBADASS

2008-04-22T10:46:00.000-07:00

So I don't have cable. It is probably a good thing cause instead of climbing at Threshhold i would spend countless hours watching Top Chef and many other TV shows that I could go without. But I do say i wish i could watch the Colbert report. I don't know much but it seems smart, funny, and relevant. After reading a recent clip in Relevant Magazine about Stephen Colbert and Philip Zimbardo i was forced to find this video online and see if it was legit. The ending is probably the best part.

I must say that i am slowly slipping away from my Psychology background simply because i realize that human nature is a sinful nature, and that God is way bigger than us. Colbert kinda knew his stuff. Kinda awesome, but cant say that I completely condone the end, but definitely funny.

Married. Life.

2008-04-17T20:04:00.000-07:00

So I am married. Do i feel different? Not yet. Is it Exciting? Yes. Does it freak me out? Yes.

I can say that everything is going great so far. I kinda feel married, but I still look down to my hand to look at my ring to make sure that I am not dreaming. The first real act to where i felt very married is spending almost three hours at Bed Bath and Beyond and Linens N Things. Two stores that never looked so appealing until you decide to move in with your spouse. We Acquired many a kitcken, bath, and living space gadget that we "NEEDED."

I realized that I had to stop myself. I was getting so focused on the THINGS, and what THINGS were the best. The THINGS that would make my comfortable life a little more comfortable. THINGS that i NEEDED...i thought...N O P E. THINGS that I wanted. DO i need a scrub brush that emits soap? No. Is it cool, yes. But nonetheless i am sooo blessed by family friends and GOD. ON my way to dinner catch up with you all soon.

pray

2008-03-27T08:32:00.001-07:00

EASTER.

2008-03-22T23:53:00.000-07:00

After meeting a guy with the same name, and reading his blog i stumbled across a post about how some Christian publishers deem the Crucifiction too horrific for kids. You can read the ARTICLE and make your own assessments, but i think the article proves a good point.

Its for reasons such as this, that nobody takes Christians serious anymore. The fire and the tenacity of Christianity is losing its power in the name of pleasing people. Look at the early Christians who were stoned (with rocks, not drugs), beaten, and persecuted for what they believe. Jesus himself spoke to what people needed to hear, not what they wanted to hear. Its LAME that Christians themselves, knowing the urgency of the times and and need for real Truth skate around the facts, and miss an opportunity to plant seeds into young peoples lives. The gospel IS too horrific for everyone, but yet it is a necessary horror. One that Christians need to embrace daily, not just one Sunday in March.

I guess it is easier to celebrate easter bunnies hiding eggs than it is to celebrate the crux of our faith. The only hope that we have. The reason we have the hope of going to heaven because Jesus gave his life in order that we might know what REAL LIFE IS.

With a grain of salt

2008-03-19T22:36:00.000-07:00

I was at small group tonight, and someone said "take this with a grain of salt." What the heck does that even mean? I mean i know what you are trying to convey (do not take this that seriously), but how did that ever become a popular phrase. A CLICHE. Everyone knows them, and what they are. I was going to add a dictionary definition, but whats the use? The best definition i found was "An expression so often used that its original power has been drained away." Perfect.

What I am interested in is what the original usage meant. We all know what the usage means now, but what about how it started. How is a "doornail" a good gauge of death? So yes, just a random question, something to get you thinking. But if you come across the etymology of the cliche "take with a grain of salt" please let me know.

Except in the course of this Blog, i think i have a guess of what it means. Oh well.

one thing i will not miss...

2008-03-18T23:19:00.000-07:00

about restaurants...is when people walk in 3 min before closing, after you havent had a table in over an hour and a half.

3 WEEKS

2008-03-15T10:00:00.000-07:00

Three more weeks until Wedding time and time is moving very slow. If you are coming RSVP already.

Change your destiny

2008-03-14T00:14:00.000-07:00

So I was reading a very interesting post called "INFP" on Sean's blog, you can read it here. It was talking about the Myers Brigg test and its results. I decided to maybe post a comment, cause you know i like it when people do that on mine. But as i posted that comment i became kinda introspective. Maybe it was due to the BBC being canceled, but i wanted to think...so...here is an attempt at Personality Theory. Some may say that your personality is set, as to say you are who you are. But i think you are who you are going to be. I believe that personality is fluid, not set. I have seen personalities change for many different reasons. If some are unhappy with a certain personality trait say Greed, can they change it? Or are they stuck being a greedy person. Life changes people, we never know how we are going to RE-act to what life delivers. Can you deliberately change your personality? I dont know, I want to say yes, but I would venture to say that it is difficult. Our true personality keeps us where we are socially comfortable. If we push ourselves to change, that would make us uncomfortable in those specific social settings, right? So would constant change make us accept our new personality? would it become a part of us, or would it always be a mask we wear over our true identity. I still believe that Personalities can change...but changing them does take some drastic measures. That probably made no sense, but i hope it did.
Goodnight. Physical Agility ROUND 2 tomorrow.

I suck at BLOGGING

2008-03-12T22:40:00.000-07:00

So I realize that i have not posted a blog in a while. Sorry. I have been kinda tied up with things. But, I did buy a pool cue. I thought it was cool to have a Billiards room at the SC (stone canyon) but i thought i would only use it when friends came over. Well, i ahve been playing a lot. The sticks they had were just really poor, so I found a deal from a friend on a brand new cue. The Cuetec "excalibur" Earl Strickland model. That is kinda jibberish to me, but hey it shoots better than the sticks they have. So watch out cause i just may be hustling you out of your lunch money in a few weeks.

In other Travis news, I passed the Sheriffs "Physical Agility Test." Not too strenuous, and pretty easy, but it is the next step in a long process of paperwork, interviews, evaluations, and waiting. I have to fill out two backround packets one by Friday (when i take the RPD agility test) and another for the Sheriffs by next week. So some of you just may be getting some calls asking you about my life history. Other than that just pray that this is where God is leading me.

Also, I am getting married in 3.5 weeks. Crazy. I got a little test of domestication today when we purchased some tables and chairs "Assembly Required." I realized why men do not read the directions, CAUSE THEY SUCK. Horrible direction, plus they did not give me enough screws. Oh well, i put it together faster and easier without that stupid paper, but i will be visiting Home Depot for some screws. Well thats it for now.

Leave and Cleave

2008-02-21T00:13:00.000-08:00

So today was a busy day. Woke up with a headache, cause i slept on an uncomfortable couch. Picked up a van, thanks to the tremendous Mike D. Went to engagement counseling. Loaded my stuff with my lovely fiance and good friend Brady. Headed to the apartment and moved my stuff in. Everything was going way to easy so I decided to lock my keys in the van, so i could wait for AAA to come help me. Lunch. Moved Couches. Organized. Shower. Then off to Pre-marital small group. Talked about "leaving" your parents and "cleaving" to your spouse. Which was the perfect topic for moving out of a place that has been your home for almost 23 years. Im glad to be on my own. Now i retire.

Workout Music

2008-02-06T16:15:00.000-08:00

I realized today that Hatebreed may be my workout music of choice. Especially the album "supremacy." Its track listings pretty much spell it out. And its pissed, fast, and full of energy. Yet it is still "somewhat" positive. It kinda shames me into wanting to push myself harder. I even pumped up the speed on the treadmill because I was so inspired. Im not even gonna lie, i even was pumping my fist on the treadmill as well. Hardcore lives inside me. Go!

Rain

2008-01-28T09:53:00.000-08:00

Haha. So basically I don't make a lot of money at yardhouse. But lately I have been grateful to have it because of the rain. But today that ended. I was called off from yardhouse. I guess i was scheduled on the patio, but I never check. So I get called off from Mission Sin, and the yardhouse now. Oh well Its a Monday, and its raining, I dont think many people are going to drive out to pick up a beer from me today, and if they do, i wont be there.

I am UNchristian

2008-01-25T01:31:00.000-08:00

First, tonights BBC group was sobering. I realized how I want to be used by God, but without exerting any effort whatsoever. This isn’t just something that happens occasionally…it happens quite frequently. I yearn to be used by God to do BIG things in peoples lives. To show them the genuine love that Christ would show. The problem is that it takes CHANGE. It takes a conscious decision to live the way you know is right. To go where God moves you. To obey what God is calling you to do. “Seizing a Divine Moment.” I resist, but I still want the glamour of feeling like I am holy enough to be used by God. It may be as simple as for praying for someone or giving a Bum a burrito. The feeling of purpose is indescribable when you walk in the path that God has set before you. We feel a part of something bigger than ourselves. The other part of the time, when we choose the opposite of the purposeful path, we feel like we have missed out or gotten something horribly wrong. We feel shamed. My shame came in the form of a burrito and a prayer. I realized how UNchristian i was when i chose to eat a burrito instead of doing as i felt God was calling me to do and give it away to a homeless man. I felt as insignificant as it seemed that I had missed by “Divine Moment” as Erwin McManus tells in his book Chasing daylight, to do as God was asking me to do. Instead I chose to eat a Burrito. The neglected prayer would have been simple, having my heart break enough for a person who will burn in hell forever and feel so alone in front of God that they can’t even speak or see, that i take time to lift them up in committed prayer. I missed it, in both situations. So many times we miss it. What would happen to the world if Christians didn’t miss it? What if we actually followed the path God desired, the “road less traveled?” What if we accepted petty differences and decided to become UNITED as a church of “little Christs” to infect our community with love? Our State? Our Country? Our World? What would happen to the horrible perception of Christianity if We hit it more than we missed it?

PS. I was lazy so i copied this from the BBC Blog, but i did write it originally...just on another BLOG.

My Wallet

2008-01-21T12:47:00.001-08:00

So i realized that I havent done a random blog in a while. So lately I have decided to put my wallet on a diet. I had to slim it up quite a bit. Taking all of the random cards out. I really thought about this, cause you never know when you are gona use that extra $2.15 that is left on your Juice IT UP gift card. Or when you may just randomly decide to keep driving on the 91 to Disneyland. I also never know when i am going to go to either Ralphs, Albertsons, or Vons to make a purchase and want to save like 89 cents. Needless to say that These are just a few of the many cards that didnt make the final cut. Some of the remaining survivors, Visa, AMEX, ATM, Work, Insurance, and License. Everything else of small importance is now kept in the glove compartment (which isn't accurately named, per the POSTAL SERVICE)What can your wallet live without?

BLAHG

2008-01-21T00:59:00.000-08:00

Yea. This is the Blah Blog. Its the crappiest post ever. I am drained. So this is a little break until i get an ounce of creativity left.
Stay Tuned

Give and Take

2008-01-15T00:22:00.000-08:00

Lately I have felt that I have been an all round better dude. I haven't been struggling with things that i normally struggle with. I have found that I am actually trying to live life with a Christlike attitude. BUT it seems that as i get better on one side of the spectrum, i get worse with the people that i love the most. I have been working so hard on how to handle my stress well that i have been neglecting some people that are very close in my life. So if you fall into the neglecting category I am sorry. It makes me feel good that no matter how hard i try, i will never be perfect. I do understand that it hurts those i neglect, and i saw that today, and it broke me.

Sundays.

2008-01-13T23:55:00.000-08:00

I always used to think that Sundays were the end of every week. I still believe that to a point, i guess. It never quite made sense to me that you technically have a day off before you start the week, 5 days of work, and then another day to rest. It just made sense, 5 days on and 2 days off.

Then you get to the religion part. I thought it was that you go through the week and confess everything bad that you did throughout the week. So you (or me rather)ultimately feel bad that we have not done as well as we wanted to do during the past week. I realized today that my Sunday mentality, being the end of the week, is kinda a crappy way to view Sundays.

What I realized today is that Sundays are a perfect way to START our weeks.
We worship the Lord, and get an idea how to adjust our lives to live in Gods commandments, hopefully in LOVE. This hopefully will energize us and re-viltalize us, so we can live our lives week by week with LOVE and JOY. That way we are pumped up for serving God rather than feeling bad for what we did wrong. Just a thought.

ANYONE...

2008-01-10T09:17:00.000-08:00

...WHO KNOWS THE GOOD HE OUGHT TO DO AND DOESNT DO IT SINS. I realized last night that we condone so many things that are sinful, and we just let them slide. We kinda let them go by without caring. All the while we understand that it is wrong, but continue to do them because nobody gets hurt. But there is still guilt involved, especially the first time we do the specific deed. As humans we just keep doing it, it gets easier everytime, and we get more calloused and bitter. All we are doing is breeding complacency. Outsiders (non christians, lost etc...) are searching for a life that is different and exciting. We have a responsibility to show an aspect of purity in the day to day. Its not a call to perfection, but rather a call to seek truth, and Gods desires in our life.

Another example of this is calling someone out. Exposing a flaw in another persons life. The only question is if you are doing it out of love, or a desire to be right. The desire to be right only puts you in a temporary position of dominance and authority, and makes the other ashamed of their faults. If you are rebuking with love, than there is a genuine concern for the path of that individual. You want him/her to change because you care, not because you want to put them in their place. Blah, Blah...I rambled, i hope this makes sense.

Borderline Sketchy

2008-01-05T14:55:00.000-08:00

So Tyler's bachelor party was Fri the 4th to the morning of the 5th. We loaded up dallas' RV and headed for Joshua Tree. It was a great time of climbing huge boulders, eating good food, listening to good tunes, and great conversation. It was a good time to get back to being guys. God hooked us up weather wise. All the forcasts said rain, but we went up anyway. The weather was perfect. Not to hot, not to cold, and perfect temp. It rained while we slept, but cleared up for one more rock hike. WHo needs ropes?

Merry Christmas

2007-12-25T00:10:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night. I thought these pics were funny.Merry Christmas (again)

Conductor

2007-12-23T23:58:00.000-08:00

I was wondering about music conductors. They are kinda like a musical air traffic controller telling the tubas to play, loud or soft. and the trumpets to blare in. AndI was wondering if they ever get so good that it becomes second nature to them. Like if he thinks about what is for dinner while conducting. As the Bass hits all he can think is the meaty steak he is going to grill, and mashed potatoes with a cymbal crash, and the smoothe pinot noir he will drink as the flute takes the symphony on a quiet interlude. I bet there are people like this.

Welcome to my mind.

BBC Follow up, for Corey...

2007-12-23T00:43:00.001-08:00

It is sad when you can respond to peoples comments in the form of a BLOG, because there are so few...ha...well no pity for me.

The Beer book club is an idea that was told to me by Mike shook (CS and a six pack) but i decided to actually bring it to fruition. Plus we dont have to read CS lewis, even though he is a christian badass. Well anyway, I brought it up to Seaner, who was stoked. The premise is basically that we meet in a bar/pub closest thing to it, preferably not loud or party mentality, and discuss a cuurrent/common book we are all reading for example, we just finished "Velvet Elvis" by Rob Bell. We discuss it over a tasty beer or two. We set up some guidlines so things dont lose sight of what is important. What is most important you ask? Spurring us as Christians, to live the most authentic Christian lives as we can. We do this by reading, learning, disagreeing and refining Christian books so we can use each other to solidify what we have read. This is NUMBER ONE PRIORITY. Beer is just a benefit. The guidlines are simple:

1. DONT READ, DONT COME. (This isnt a hangout session)
2. 2 BEER MAXIMUM (we arent here to get drunk, and therefore disobey the bible, that would be backwards)
3. MISS ONLY ONE TIME, PER BOOK (this is a commitment, not a convenience)
4. NO NEW MEMBERS DURING A BOOK. (new people are welcome and encouraged, but must wait until the new book starts)

This has been amazing for the guys in it right now, we will prob be changing the meeting time sometime. And we meet at the GETAWAY CAFE in Riverside. The next book we will be reading is "UNCHRISTIAN" by David Kinnaman. SO if you are interested in coming please email me, and get reading if you want to come next wednesday. Chapters one and two.

II Corinthians 12:7-10 (part two)

2007-12-18T09:20:00.000-08:00

Well, nobody posted a comment. Which means nobody cares, or nobody reads this thing anymore. oh well. What 2 CORINTHIANS 12:7-10?means to me is that Paul at first was complaining about the hardships that He was going through. I mean Legitimate hardships. But God revealed that God was most glorified in his weakness, he considered it a blessing to be able to serve Him through this "burden." In this day and age we take people to court, we complain, we argue about E V E R Y T H I N G. Especially me. But instead of doing that, if we were focused on how these "hardships" could reflect the identity of CHRIST more, instead of how we were being put out. Then I believe this generation would actually see Christ in us, instead of just hearing about us talking about Him. I am guilty, and it is hard to change, but it is beneficial to hear that we can change, and be happier which is subjective to the way you truly want to live. real happiness or temporary.

Beer Book Club

2007-12-13T00:48:00.000-08:00

Amazing. This is a definite highlight to my week. I will explain when i am not actually getting in bed. Goodnight. I hope to post more often.

Travis

II Corinthians 12:7-10 (part one)

2007-12-12T11:49:00.000-08:00

So I should be studying for my Final Exam at Yarrdhouse but instead I was looking at my widgets on my computer. There is one specific widget that is pretty basic and comes stock on all Macs. The Stickie note Widget. So I stickied a few weeks ago "WHAT CAN YOU LEARN FROM 2 CORINTHIANS 12:7-10?" I already forgot all that God taught me through this, and i re-read it and remembered what a dork I am. Thank god for that note. So the question is bloggers, what can YOU learn from this passage. Reply as a comment. I will Blog what i learned in a few days.

Law School

2007-12-03T13:33:00.000-08:00

So this week I am seriously considering making my career path law. This entails studying for the LSAT, taking the LSAT, law school, and so on so forth. I usually get discouraged with careers very quickly. But i have come to the conclusion that i have to go back to school. DANG IT! The jobs that are available to a BA in psychology are few and far between. I think that my personality is such as to where a career in law will be a great fit, but i understand the hard work that comes with it. It will not be easy. It will not be cheap. I still have a lot of research to do, so yea. But take this post with a grain of salt, next week i could want to be an astronaut, doctor, or professional foodserver (least then my resume would be appealing).

My first robbery

2007-11-28T00:15:00.000-08:00

Well tonight was an eventful night. I started out at work, where i was there for only about 4 hours, and made decent money because i was able to take a lot of tables early, then go home. Brady called me as i was walking out of work. We decided to meet at Fridays, then go to the Old School Starbucks (pierce and 91). I was purchasing some goods at the local 76 Station when i witnessed my first robbery. It happened so quick, that my only reaction was to laugh. The two men ran in. They both grabbed a 24 pack of MGD then ran out. All "MO" the clerk said in the calmest voice ever was "Just like that!" I laughed, and apologized to Mo for that, but it was just a funny thing to witness. I mean it was that easy. Nobody stopped them. Nobody really cared. Just a unique element to a normal night. It was Blogworthy. So here you go. Power to those who actually save their spare change and buy beer (or bread) on their own.

The busy season

2007-11-24T11:05:00.000-08:00

So the highly anticipated "busy Season" at Mission Inn is upon us. This us the month and nine days of Festival of lights when we are supposed to be out of control busy and make tons of money in tips. This is also the time when all hell breaks loose and different departments (Banquets) steal all of our supplies. Last year, the money was good, it was stressful, but well worth it. Its funny because a lot of servers stay through the ups and downs of the restaurant just to work the "busy season."

My first thought on this Festival of lights season is that it was not worth it. By the first half an hour all of our ice tea glasses, coffee cups, and goose necked ramekins were missing. Also my managers put Zack and I in the makeshift lobby station, where nobody really wanted to sit. Basically, i dont have a good vibe about all of this. But I am really working on staying positive throughout my job at the Mission Inn. Because as much as I tell myself that i dont need this job, i kinda do. I am getting married, and the hope of a full time job seems distant. Post-graduation life is just what i expected. Trust. Thats what i need. Faith. Is also what i need. Obedience. This will help me get there. So yea i complain a lot, but once its out i usually know how to console myself and kick myself in my own butt. So until next time, come visit me tues-sat nights and sunday brunch at the mission inn restaurant (reservations are a good idea).

Tattoo log #3

2007-11-15T00:37:00.000-08:00

So the tattoo is finished. I believe that Mr. Quiggle did a fine job. So now the healing process kicks in again. All can say is I hope you like it, i do, but there has been some D-R-A-M-A. Long story but it is totally cool now. Well hit me up with what you guys think of it.

color

2007-11-12T13:16:00.001-08:00

tattoo. today. 4pm. color.

That was easy...

2007-11-09T12:58:00.001-08:00

I wish getting a good full time job was as easy as getting a job at the yardhouse. Oh yea i got the job, in less than 45 minutes.

The Yardhouse

2007-11-09T11:14:00.000-08:00

So Mission Inn is super slow, and it is supposed to be get really busy from Thanksgiving on, but the money there is really bad at this present moment. The Yardhouse is opening and I am oing to apply just to see what happens. If you read this pray that God leads me in a direction of where He wants me. The problem with two jobs is that it might be hard to go on job interviews for a "real" or "full time" job, which is priority #1. Jobs, Jobs, Jobs. I just want one real good one, so i can support my future wife.

Darkest Hour

2007-11-08T23:58:00.000-08:00

Sometimes i post two blogs back to back. But I was just listening to this band Darkest Hour and i realized that i really like them. They aren't like the rest of the metal-core trash that is out there. I think they are original, and all in all a great band. So if you like heavy inventive metal, not singing about the devil, you should check them out. Of course it is only an opinion. Or maybe it is because i am listening to them right now, and their first CD is almost as good as their latest, but still different with a new feel. Oh well. everyone has an opinion. The next guy (or you) could think they suck, or be a way bigger fan. I have never even seen them live.There is probably alot of good music out there, and i wish i had the time to listen to everything real good. There is just to much old music that i have that is good enough. Its funny cause Darkest Hour has been around for a while, but it has only been in the last year and a half that i have got really into them, and i am sure that this will happen with other bands. Like Acceptance is really cool, and i didnt start listening to them until they broke up. Well,Goodnight.

A man of my word...

2007-11-08T23:49:00.001-08:00

I used to pride myself on being a man of my word. Well, i think i am not really one at all. Just self reflecting over various life events, and it seems i give up on some commitments, or flake out when people think i am going to do something. Most times it is not really that important (in my own mind) it really doesnt affect anyone that greatly. But it just kinda builds up. I think it boils down to being selfish in alot of different aspects. I mean i hold to my responsibilities for work, and the things that "matter' but sometimes i compromise the others. I dont know what the hell is my deal. So if i have flaked on you, or told you i was going to do something and didnt follow through...Im sorry. Im sure God gets most of the flakage, and i see it now. I have seen it, just been a little to lazy to do anything. The detox is a perfect example. havent really kept to many of those commitments, cause it was hard. But no one ever got to high without a little hard work. I seek change, but lack the courage to work for it. i wanna be fit, but lack the desire to go to the gym and eat healthy. I wanna be a perfect christian, but sometimes lack the desire to seek him. Stupid.

Rejected

2007-11-05T14:21:00.000-08:00

Job hunts suck. I know that God has a plan in all this, it is just hard when I have to be patient and actually trust Him. Well i am sure that he will be teaching me something in this. Well thats it, so now i ease my depression with multiple episodes of the office.

Thanks Honda

2007-11-01T09:53:00.000-07:00

Wow. So i decided to take my car in for its 30,000mile service. Thats actually where I am going to be for the next two hours. And then i will pay 350.00 and be on my way to spend 437.00 on tires. Car ownership sucks. I can only imagine that owning a house is 10X worse. Oh well, i guess it is somewhat an investment, but a bad one at that. Cause Cars just get progressively worse, and this service is just to help prolong the eventual death of My Honda Civic LX. Oh well, Then im off the bank to deposit the money that goes towards bills, then off to work to find money, to put in the ank, to put towards bills. Such is life.

DETOX: 18 hours later...

2007-10-29T23:59:00.000-07:00

HAHA. I cracked with no help by Karrina. We are still eating healthy, but i need some substance. So I ate chicken today. It was delicious and healthy, so i dont feel bad. Well, Mind and Soul are still in tact, and doing good. We will see how good they do when i go the evil happenings at the Mission Inn.

DETOX: Week 1

2007-10-29T00:13:00.000-07:00

MIND: This is the hardest one to put actual parameters on.
-Worship/Ambient music only
-Constant Reminders of my attitude
-No Television or Movies
-No Cussing, Lust, Anger...etc...or at least becoming aware of my various sins

BODY: This one is easiest to regulate, cause it is a modified diet Karrina and I found. The things on this list are fair game for us to consume.
-Fruits and vegetables and 100% fruit/vegetable juice no added stuff
-Brown Rice Products (actually lots of options)
-Extra virgin olive oil
-No alcohol the whole 4 weeks

SOUL: This is the most important part, influencing the others.
-Daily reading and meditation
-Consistent prayer
-trying to reflect the image of Christ, by allowing the holy spirit to live
through me.

DETOX: Mind, Body, and Soul

2007-10-28T23:48:00.000-07:00

So no, I am not a drug abuser or alcoholic. But I do not eat healthy. I noticed that I have been getting very tired lately, I have a lack of energy, and get stressed out easily. It may or may not be due to my unhealthy diet (which isn't that bad, but isn’t that good either. But a I thought about what I feed my body, and that it isn’t that good for me, I thought about what I feed my Mind and soul as well. This isn’t good healthy for me at all. My mind is plagued with animosity, pessimism, and an overall bad attitude. This is probably due to the lack of input into my spiritual life (Soul Food?). I decided that if I was going to change one (Body) I had to at least try to change all three. Also considering that Mind and Soul are way more important than the body. So here I go, I am kind of making up the rules as I go along, but see above BLOG for what I am working on as the weeks go on. It should be a 4-week journey, hopefully leading to a significant life change.

In the Mind area, I would like to get rid of all the junk that is stored up there, such as pessimism, bad attitude, revenge etc...That leads to a mind that is focused on Jesus Christ’s example than my own. In the Body area, I want to change my eating habits to be health oriented, to gain good weight (muscle mass) rather than bad weight (the GOBBLER, the nickname for my developing double chin) and develop a diet that leads to more energy and promotes better fitness and health. The Soul area is where I seek after God, and ask Him to reveal himself through his holy spirit. This is the most important part of my detox, and realize that I must trust him in this area the most in order to have a smidgen of success in any o these areas.

I tend to give up on things, so all you have to do is say how’s the detox? and I will know what you are talking about. Luckily Karrina is doing the diet with me, but we gave up last time with no help from me, so hopefully we make it past week one. Trader Joe's is your friend Oh well I have typed a lot.

Engagement Pictures (round ONE)

2007-10-27T22:18:00.000-07:00

So we decided to do pictures today. That didnt go so well. Not the most photogenic couple. I know very short, but i decided that i was gonna go crazy on the blogs today. I know, my day was boring.

Randomness (the office)

2007-10-27T22:04:00.000-07:00

So I have this querk. Hypothetically if someone (Karrina) were to say, "Hey lets go see live free, die hard." i would say no. Not because i dont want to see it, but only because i haven't seen the preceding ones (thats definitely a dduction of man points), and i feel as though i would not have a sufficient background, therefore adding to my confusion and ruining my theatrical experience. With that said, i decided that i like the show the office. I have seen 2 episodes prior, and thought they were hilarious. My friend offered season 2 or 3, but i had to decline, because of the obvious stated reason. But after tonight i am ready, because i had a season 1 marathon thanks to the rain and mission inn restaurant management. So yes this is a random post, deal with it. There are some more serious ones to come, i promise.

Job not a career...hopefully

2007-10-27T17:03:00.001-07:00

Ive got to get out. Its getting worse by the day. Pray for the job search.

Half dot com

2007-10-24T16:00:00.000-07:00

Let me just say this. Half.com is awesome. Its probably the same thing as Amazon.com but oh well. I am one of those people who really likes music, and actually collect the case and cd. So now all of the music that i have on my iTunes is slowly being bought. It lessens the guilt of getting the music from other people. You should try it. And if you are one of those people who uses iTunes and only iTunes, then if you dont want your old cd's just pass them on down, thats what Nate did. Peace.

Tattoo log #2

2007-10-23T15:03:00.000-07:00

So sorry for the delay in the tattoo representation stuff but i have been busy, trying to get a job and talking about the wedding. Well as you can see kinda, it is a veil, being ripped open because heaven is bulging out. The warriors sword is conquering death, which is crumbling like a rock (golgotha?) The main premise is basically calvary. The death of Christ made it so heaven was available to all that believe. It opened the veil that separated us from heaven, God made it available to us by using Christ as a mediator. So why a sword instead of a cross? Because i wanted something more meaning driven, rather than just giving it away. It will come to life when full color is added. Because as of right now, it itches.

Tattoo Log #1

2007-10-20T00:20:00.000-07:00

I got my first tattoo today. Here is the outline. The work was done by Dave Quiggle, and i think he did an excellent job with design and work. Shading is coming soon, anlong with the whole story behind it and a lot of details you probably dont care about. So keep checking back.

Peace.

Guitar Hero

2007-10-15T14:46:00.001-07:00

So i just bought a video game. Stupid i know. But seriously it is the funnest game ever. Oh well. thought i would let you know how nerdy am. Least i got the PS2 for free. im still frugal. And i bought the game used. so i am not that big of a loser.

Passionate vs. Logical

2007-10-13T23:12:00.000-07:00

I consider myself a pretty logical person, but sometimes it can get me in trouble. i was looking over a past journal entry that i did a couple months ago in my quiet times through Nehemiah. What i realized back then and today, is that sometimes it is ok to be passionate and logical. Nehemiah saw a need, and wasn't worried about how it was going to happen or how he would do it. What he did was present his dilemma to God and let him lead him, even if he did not know what was to come of him. He was passionate about doing the Lords work, and if he thought like I do sometimes, he probably would not have gone. He would have named off every reason it was a bad decision, and it was better for him to stay as the Kings cup bearer. The problem with that decision is that he would have missed out on an exciting journey and experience that God had for him, he would have missed the opportunity to grow, and missed the opportunity to become one of the greatest examples of a leader that there is. Sometimes we just have to take that chance. Well i gotta go, parents just got home from hawaii...brats.

Comments

2007-10-08T20:30:00.000-07:00

Sorry to push the agenda about comments. Thanks to Lorijo, i had it set that only Blogger members could comment. I changed it, so i am sorry if anyone was denied. Oh well. Comment away.

A Blog-over

2007-10-07T23:35:00.000-07:00

So I am not a graphic designer, but i like some things to look cool. Not that anybody goes on this stupid blog anyways (comments?) but i thought i would attempt to make it a little cooler. The picture was taken at my house, nobody has given me a free version of Photoshop, so until they do, i use ImageWell, cause hey its free. So tell me what you think. I made it really quick, so i will hopefully do another one when boredom takes it course.

STAY

2007-10-04T12:04:00.001-07:00

This is a great movie, in case you didnt know. You all should watch it and then see if you can figure it out. I wil try to break it down for everyone later, the best i can.

Skip the engagement

2007-10-04T00:40:00.000-07:00

and get married already. Its too much stress for one day. I mean come on. Oh well, necessary torture...to recieve a lifetime of enless bliss, i guess.

A piece of me DEAD

2007-10-01T01:26:00.000-07:00

I have been driving past Sounds Like (ex. Mad Platter) in Riverside since I was really little. But I started going in there at around the age of 13/14ish. Of course it wasn’t till I got my license that the real damage started. See, I have always been a huge fan of music, and I used to buy a fair amount of CD's. The problem is that the music I listened to and was passionate about was pretty "underground." Sounds Like almost always carried the CD's that I wanted, and I could always listen to them before I bought them. They also had a used CD section (one mans trash, another mans treasure), which I loved. Hey, my band The Enemy Within even played a show there with Sinai Beach.

Well to wrap this up, I have been seeing the gate closed as I drive by, and have been too busy the last few weeks to stop in, and every time I do, they seemed to be closed. So after like 3 weeks of this I finally walked up to the door, to find out that they had closed for good. I was super bummed since I literally probably spent over a thousand dollars there, played a show, and just stopped in to talk to one of the workers Alan. It was a super friendly record store, with good prices and honest business. One of the workers even talked me out of buying a CD, that’s how honest they were. And now they are closed. I’m sad, EFF iTUNES.

I dont have a girlfrind any longer...

2007-09-28T13:52:00.000-07:00

...I am happy to not have a girlfriend any longer. On Saturday September 22nd i asked Karrina to be my fiance. I think she liked the promotion. I asked her at the bottom of the ocean floor right off the coast of Casino Pointe on Catalina Island. I let all the air out of my BC, got down on one knee on the ocean floor, and pulled out a clear waterproof container with the ring, and a note saying, "Karrina, will you marry me?" she responded yes (naturally) and now we are engaged. So yes. I thought it was blog worthy, so there. Any advice, let me know, because it is gonna be a long 7 or so months.

Keep Reading.

Saying thanks for the Troops

2007-09-27T01:23:00.000-07:00

Its easy to forget as i sit here in my boxers, ready to go to bed, that on the other side of the world, we have friends and relatives risking their lives for this great country. The death statistics dont really hit home until a friend becomes a part of those statistics. Than you start thinking how selfish you have been for not praying enough for them. Or maybe that is just me. Well tonight when i got home i was greeted by my mom, who is never up this late. Telling me about a friend in IRAQ, i was happy to here that he wasnt killed, but rather asking for prayer about a mission. I wonder how they feel over there? Do they feel like nobody cares? That family and friends have abandoned them? Well maybe you do or dont, but if you do take a few seconds to fill out a card here and send it to a soldier. I got the idea from my sister in law, married to my Air Force brother. And as much as want him to be able to use the skills he constantly trains for, i would be quite different if he was over there fighting for the country and his life. So all i am asking is to think and spread the word.

Keep Reading.

Moustache Log (The Finale)

2007-09-20T12:42:00.000-07:00

So this is the final result of well over a month of growth. I realized that the moustache is way better when it is in the form of a Fu Manchu. Like promised i told Karrina that i would be clean shaven by the end of our vegas trip. Being the good boyfriend that I am, I surprised her by shaving it the the morning of our last day in Vegas. The minute i looked in the mirror, i was so sad. I looked like a twelve year old boy. The moustache becomes a part of you, and now a part of me is washed down the drain of the Hard Rock Hotel and Casino. Well back to the world of shaving my upper lip. Oh well, anyone who is reading this. I thought i would give you some closure about this ongoing saga.

Jury Duty (Finale)

2007-09-13T19:54:00.001-07:00

So basically i decided to o the honorable thing, take the high road etc...i made pact with God and myself to answer all questions honorbly and truthfully. I was called into a court room within an hour, the longer I was there the more i was hoping to get put on a jury. I got excited by all that was happening. When they called the first names to fill the jury box and alternate seats i was really hoping to hear my name, so i could be involved with the whole judicial process. Well round one came, no name call. Three and a half hours later, lunch. I was fortunate to meet with Zeke for a beer and corn beef sandwich at The Royal Falconer who was in the area. We came back from lunch at 1:30pm and were met with 10 new juror seats (alternates/fillers). I waited, but still no name call. Another two hours went by, with over 29 jurors let go, 12 sitting in the jury seats and only 9 people left. So i was definitely in contention for a possible seat as a juror or perhaps an alternate. Well we went through the whole process (again) and they finally settled with the first two alternates (they go in order). So I wasnt picked, and it was all picked by random, then the attorneys dismissed who they would. I wasnt dismissed but i wsnt called early enough. What a waste of an entire day. Well i am safe for a year.

Jury Duty

2007-09-12T23:45:00.000-07:00

Gosh Freaking dang it. I recieved jury duty and actually have to go. I know its my "civic duty" but come on. Well pray that i am not too bored as I wait 7.5 hours to be called. Im going with guilty.

Chasing Daylight

2007-09-10T15:31:00.000-07:00

So I am not a reader. Seriously. I haven’t finished a book since I was like a sophomore in high school. That’s when I learned how to BS through my papers and assignments.

With all that said, I just finished "Chasing Daylight" by Erwin Raphael McManus. This was a great book. It talks about "seizing your divine moments" and doing what God calls us to do; even when it is hard or we don’t necessarily have everyone’s blessing. I wont bore you with all the details; I just encourage you to read it on your own. The one point I will tell you about comes like 10 pages from the end. It talks about the definition of the word "church." The definition is "to be called out." We always hear about Sunday Christians, who go to church, but never do anything with what they learn. But the question is, how many of us meet those same criteria, because I know for a fact that I do a lot, and I lead a small group. The call is and always has been to take what we learn on Sundays and our personal study time and apply it to our lives, in order to be a good reflection of our God.

So with all that said, go buy this book, read it and take action. And if you see me, remind me to do it as well.
Thanks for reading. Post a comment.

Vacation Re-capped

2007-09-10T11:26:00.000-07:00

So vacation was a needed rest for me. I dont remember the last time i went away for 10 days. The beauty of Shasta never ceases to amaze me. It was great weather, and a great time. I was bummed for Brady. He gouged his foot open on like the second day, and needed stiches...but...since we were on the housboat that was impossible, so we had to make do with a few incomplete First Aid kits. Sucky. I felt pretty bad since he was the one who invited me, and he just sat there in the houseboat. He was slightly healed in time for "weanie wars" a tradition in which three guys get on three tubes and fight. It gets pretty intense. So needless to say Shasta was quite fun and an amazing time.

Vegas was fun. Alot of drama but we pushed through and had a good time, i hope. We stayed at the Hard Rock hotel, which has a huge pool and a pretty popular club "Body English" I realized that i really do hate the concept of clubs, and particularly "house music." I think i let my attitude get in the way of my girlfriends time, and i really do feel bad about that, i should have sucked it up and given her a great time. Its just i am pretty protective of Karrina and my girls who are friends. It was like all these drunk guys coming up and hitting on all them. So for me i was trying to keep karrina away from all these crazy huys trying to touch her and stuff...weird. But we had a good time and i didnt lose too much money. So i am rested. More blogs that are better to come.

My Night...was better than yours (Vitamin Water)

2007-08-18T01:29:00.000-07:00

Well, random again, but oh well. Friday night was needed, and it couldn’t have gone any better. The old crew (Brady, Tyler, Evan, Mike and Myself) all got together. It was not forced, but it was reminiscent of old times. We started at Tyler’s house where we always do. Rode the motorcycle for a bit. Ate at McDonalds ($1 Chx McNugs). Then proceeded to a park to create a new game of Frisbee, after we broke it and then fixed it with duct tape. We resurrected the bike riding tradition, but not before we went to Ralph’s for Beverages. Brady suggested a series of beverages produced by Vitamin Water.The first beverage in the series was "charge" in order to give us the energy to make it many many miles twisting and turning through side streets to finally reach Arlington (A new record) I don’t want to be a commercial for these beverages, but the series definitely worked. I finished "charge" At the halfway mark, in which we rode roughly 85% down hill. So I’m not the math major in the group (Evan is) so we had 85% of up hills left. So I busted out the second drink in the series, "Rescue."So when you felt like you wanted to give up, this would supposedly give you the recovery that you needed in order to finish the task. I wanted to take it preemptively in order to maintain a good composure. So I started this beverage a little over halfway through and finished it right before we returned. I can honestly say, and Brady will agree...I was not tired, or worn out after a really long bike ride. I am not over exaggerating either, I promise. I felt strong enough to not once get off and push my bike. I proudly can say that I rode up every single hill, no matter how steep. I will blame it on the vitamin water.The last drink in the series was "Revive" in order to replenish our broken bodies. And by the name you know what it did. I did not partake in this beverage until I was at our destination. The series works, so if you have a long and strenuous trek in front of you...do the vitamin water series created by Brady, tested by both Brady and I. Plus, they are 10 for $10 at Ralph’s this week.

At the end, we talked, and parted. It was a great night, not forced. Reminding me that after the years, the ups, downs, the good, the bad, and the ugly...we are still Brothers And Meaningful Fellowship.

Plus I had enough energy to visit the girlfriend after. So I got the best of both worlds.

blah blee blah blah blah

2007-08-14T23:53:00.000-07:00

So whatever, this is just the most random Blog ever. I haven’t Blogged in a while so I decided to just write some random stuff. I have been kind of crappy lately, just as a Christian in general, but I am getting better. I just read First timothy and a looking forward to getting wrecked by it as I go through it more slowly, and get to journal it. I like to read a book first, the go through the chapters or significant parts and write my thoughts on then in a journal, so I ca take the meat of the passage away from it, and better apply it to my life. So I guess I will be getting better on that. I have been banking on a job at Market Broiler for an Assistant Human Resources job, but today I had a meeting and found out that it isn’t in the company’s budget, and I will have to wait it out. It’s funny how God grows you, and teaches you to actually trust Him. In the meeting/interview my friend Rodney was talking about the restaurant industry...but it can be applied to my life, and yours too...It seems as though Rain clouds in our lives always seem bad, and we hate going through these trials and tribulations. BUT...without rain clouds we would not have rain, and the earth would not be replenished and produce beautiful flowers and landscapes. One of m favorite verses is in James, actually James 1:2-4. Without these rain clouds we would not learn how to grow in our faith and produce endurance. For you sandalites, refer to Nancy Heches sermon. But with all that Random stuff said God is teaching me how to trust Him, and how to accept uncertainty, even though I really hate it a lot. There is some good stuff going on too. I was recently certified for SCUBA.It was an amazing experience and cant wait to do it again. I guess that lets me fulfill all the prerequisites for my girlfriend’s family, who are avid SCUBA divers. There are really good things in the works, which helped me figure out a stupid linguistic equation. With all these decisions I am making these next few weeks/months I am very NERVOUS and EXCITED, for what God is going to bring into my life. So I decided that NERVOUS + EXCITED = ANXIOUS. Good things can be stressful too. Besides that living at home isn’t as bad as I expected. Parental relations are good. I miss my brother, but it was good to visit with my sister in law and nephew. What else, hmmm...vacation is coming up which I am really excited for. I got to visit with Brady and Evan two of my good friends tonight, and am looking forward to vacationing with them again...to bad Tyler isn’t going. It will be a last hoorah of sorts, and hopefully very relaxing...for those of you who don’t know I am going to Shasta then a turnaround to VEGAS for Karrina's (and mine...kind of) birthday. I am excited for ten days off for relaxation, but I am sure I will find something to stress about. So sorry if this Blog was boring, just informing you of what is going on in my life. Oh...and if you actually read my blog comment so I know, cause random people will be like "oh I was reading your blog..." and I am surprised, so it would be cool to get an idea of who reads this garbage. Take care...and yes, the moustache is still growing.

Single Ski

2007-08-07T23:04:00.000-07:00

So i am very competitive, and do not like not being able to do things...especially when i am with people who can do them well. So with that said, we went to lake Perris yesterday. Of course i forgot sunscreen, but other than that it was areally fun day. I finally got up on a single ski, cause the first time i tried i was not sucessful. It was a lot more squirly than a wakeboard, but still fun. It was fun to get someting down that i was previously unsuccessful at doing. And i got up being pulled by a sea-doo and i hear that is harder than a boat, so that made me a bit more happy. So check that off the mental list. When we came home we watched The movie Premonition. Weird movie, weird ending. Oh well, at least the guy in the picture is rocking a sweet moustache while single skiing.

Moustache Log #3

2007-08-03T16:42:00.001-07:00

So it has been a while since the last update, but the moustache is stiil a-growin. A couple have people have fallen off the bandwagon at work, but i am still holding strong. I bought some full mirrored sunglasses to enhance the effect. So far i have been called a cop, more specifically Lt. Dangle. Yes. So i have my growing date extended to september 6th with the help of Mrs. Mascari. So keep checking back, my internet was down with the move, but its up now. So post comments!!!

Keep Growing.